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palescrawnyguy
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Name: Josh
Location: Des Moines, Iowa, United States
Birthday: 10/5/1988
Gender: Male
Interests: People: Band peoples, Friends, Family.... Music- 311, Aerosmith, AFI, Audioslave, Avril (not her, the music), Blue October, Bowling for Soup, Breaking Benjamin, Chevelle, Coldplay, Counting Crows, Cranberries, Dashboard Confessional, Death Cab for Cutie, Enya, Franz Ferdinand, Green Day, Hoobastank, Josh Groban, Lost Prophets, Matchbox 20, Oasis, Papa Roach, Rasmus, Seal, Simon & Garfunkel, Sublime, Sugar Cult, Three Day's Grace, Weezer, Yelloward.... Books- Davinci Code, Angels & Demons, The Artemis Fowl Series, Harry Potter Series, The Abhorsen Series, Shade's Children, Chronicles of Narnia, Calvin&Hobbes, Bourne Trilogy, Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon... Much more to each list, just ask...
Expertise: Being imperfect.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  monsieurnoitall
Member Since:
7/31/2004
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| Basically, my last post was written prematurly. This is the time it
should have been written, because this time I do believe it's actually
true. In order to truly convey my feelings, I would have to "Multiply
it by infinity, and take it to the depth of forever, and you
will still have barely a glimpse of what I'm talking about." That's
basically it.
I've never had this feeling, you know the one, where it almost hurts to
be apart? But instead of only hurting when you can't (something is
preventing you from) see (ing) them, it almost hurts all the time? It
doesn't hurt, but that's the closest thing I've got to a word. When
they're almost constantly on your mind, when they invade every thought,
that's the closest idea that I can convey. It doesn't hurt, but the
world gets 10 shades brighter when they're around? Yea, that's what I
feel right now.
I love that feeling, absolutely love it. I know I tend to fall quickly
in and out of relationships, but I really, really, really, more than
any of the others, want this one to last as long as possible, if not
longer. I just... I don't even know, I just feel... Really happy
whenever I hear from him, even if it's just a poke from facebook. He
never fails to get a grin out of me, ever.
The crazy thing, I've only known him since Saturday. I know, I'm
totally crazy, but I genuinely like him. I honestly think it will last.
Physically, mentally, humor-wise, seriousness-wise, party-wise,
people/outgoingness, all of those I love about him... I just hope that
he finds me as attractive, in all those ways and more (yes, there are
more that I didn't mention) because that's how much I like him...
And, if you end up reading this, well then, you know it all 
And I hope that I didn't freak you out or anything, but I needed to get
this all down on 'paper' so that it didn't stay bottled up and make my
head spontaneously combust... 
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| Basically complicated
Complicatedly basic
The feelings inside
That I feel for you
The feelings
I never expected
That flooded my gates
Building instead
Of destroying
Confusion sets in
Caused by the feelings
I hadn't intended to have
For the wonderous person
That is you
Feeling I've known you
For longer than reality
For longer than this life
My only hope
For these feelings
Is that they last
Basically Complicated
And Complicatedly basic | | |
| I'll keep it short because it seems no one ever reads long posts.
I don't know what to do... I'm quickly falling for a boy... While I'm
in the middle of trying to end things with another boy... And when I
say boy, I really mean man, for I am a boy. However, the one being
fallen for is older than the one that's gotten over by three years.
Making the grand total six years my senior.
I don't know if I'm falling because it is something new, or if I'm
falling because I actually really like him. He treats me far better, or
is at least far more affectionate (while still keeping the clothes on)
than the current boy is. I also feel that the new one and I could
honestly last longer than the first and I have.
Any thoughts? | | |
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From The Realm of Possibilities by David Levithan.
that night I told you to be careful
in in the way I could not be careful myself.
you left the party and I walked from drink to drink
wishing the best for you, knowing it was the worst for me.
it is a horrible wonderful thing to be in love with you.
to get to hear you sing for hour after hour
but never be the subject of the song.
to listen and listen and listen
I carry your equipment to gigs.
I am your ride home, your calendar.
I let you choose the radio station, the time.
and in return, yours is the only goodnight I ever need.
I've lost track of where friendship ends and falling begins.
(this is the foolish refrain of the hopelessly devoted.)
there are times I want to kiss you midsentence.
undo the not-doing with one gesture.
but I hesitate in the wondering.
she's taken the place that was never mine.
you and i haveour sad misdirected love in common.
only yours sings out, while mine is a voice lleft on the inside.
I bide my time, pick at the petals, play the good best friend.
you ask me what I'm looking for, and I outline you.
you don't recognize the shape, offer other names.
you say my time will come, and I hope.
I know this is how the world works.
it would be funny, if it wasn't my heart.
she is the weakness you think of as strength.
while I am the strength you have no idea is there.
I am the one who knows who you are.
I want you to be happy.
and you could be
with me.
So
I'm sure most of you can figure out who this one is about... And no,
it's not Eric... In fact... Well, not yet shall I reveal that one... It
still hurts to think about what lies ahead.
I'm not sure if the
above poem is how I still feel about my love, because I resigned myself
to never having him at all... And maybe I never really wanted him, but
I think I did... It's all so confusing.
And I decided that I was wrong about wishing I was straight... It's just as hard for you guys, just more often. | | |
| I hate seeing things that I once either had, or could have had... But don't... It hurts sometimes
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